To Live Is To Lose — And Win Again
When we embark on young adulthood, we often envision a path filled with successes. We plan to get that degree, fall in love, and buy a house after landing a dream job. However, life is full of unexpected roadblocks. Accepting and embracing these hurdles is crucial. My own journey taught me that life’s detours can lead to new beginnings. Despite the struggles, I’ve learned to manage my mental health and find happiness in a slower-paced lifestyle. Remember, the end of one story is just the beginning of a new one. Keep moving forward, and you will find happiness again.
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When we initially embark on our young adulthood, we often envision it as a series of successes. We aim to earn that degree or diploma, fall in love with the person we believe we are “meant to be with,” and buy a house after landing a great job in our desired field.
The problem with this line of thinking is multifaceted. One of the biggest issues, in my view, is that this plan is overly simplistic. It’s nothing more than a linear perspective on adulthood.
What we learn, however, is that life presents many more roadblocks than steppingstones. There’s very little we can do to prevent them. What we can do, though, is learn to accept the hurdles in our lives and lean into them.
Being deterred from living because things didn’t go as planned is not helpful. While this can be extremely difficult to accept, life doesn’t care — you’ll either remain idle, or you’ll push through the pain, misery, and upset.
Furthermore, a sudden redirection in life can be exciting. Sure, it might not have been planned, but it can be a brand-new blank canvas — a new beginning. With that said, it’s okay to reflect and feel the pain of an unintended change in your life. Simply accept it a normal process because that’s what it is — a normal reaction to an unplanned turn of direction.
When I was a young man, I had it all — the kids, the wife, the good job, the family home. I was in the zone, well, for a short period of time at least. Sadly through, my depression and anxiety were too much for me to handle, and as a result, I failed miserably. However, looking back on it nearly fifteen years later, I realize that calling it a failure isn’t accurate. I couldn’t have foreseen the monumental hardship it caused.
While it was far from a bad experience in terms of what I had and what I accomplished, I simply didn’t have the mental stamina to be a family man. What I have learned now, especially after being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), is that I thrive when I am on my own or in a place with minimal stimuli.
When I was a single dad, I could be a good dad because I was within my tolerance limits. No house to clean and repair, no lawn to mow or car to fix; just me and the kiddos, off on our own little adventure.
Now that my kids are in their late teens and early twenties, I live a much slower-paced lifestyle. I am not ashamed to say that it suits me. I can manage my symptoms, rest, and be social when I am able. I do find it lonely that they are around very little, but like I did and my parents before me, they too have to make their way in the world. Getting them to adulthood was my job, and I am happy to say that I was present and alive for them. My goal moving forward is to do whatever it takes to be around to see them through all stages in their lives — good, bad, life-altering, and otherwise.
Most importantly, I now know that life sucks sometimes, but the end of one story is merely the beginning of a new novel.
Checkout Jonathan’s New Blog — Things People Should Know But Probably Don’t
So, if you’re in the middle of a dark period in your life, remember that as long as you keep moving forward, there’s a good chance you’ll find happiness again. Please, just stick around long enough to see your hard work pay off. You’ll be glad you did.
